What happens when we put love and intimacy at the center of our understanding of privacy, and what are the consequences of their disavowal, in favor of a more familiar technocratic definition of privacy-as-absense? What role does our deep desire for love and belonging, and our concomitant fear of shame and rejection, have to do with the (mis)direction of tech capital and the current, warped shape of the tech industry and its products? We take these questions seriously, and work through their implications together in Hamburg during that brief, liminal window between the winter holidays and the new year.